For those that don’t know yet, Michael and I got married November 25, 2013. Our wedding is still taking place in February, but we eloped so we could live in our house together. Yes, I know- no one really does that anymore, but out of respect for each other, our families, and God, we did. Being married is a wonderful, lovely, terrifying, and difficult thing! It means Mike and I have lots more time to spend with each other, but, having been living together for only about 2 months now, we are still learning quirks and habits that we haven’t known before.
One of my biggest, hidden habits is that I love watching reality TV families, especially 19 Kids and Counting and Duck Dynasty. Mike never laughs at me for that (at least not to my face), and I suspect he even gets into Duck Dynasty a bit. It was my thought that when we got married, our little family would morph into a TV reality family; we’d have enough money for bills and food, we’d be laughing all the time, our house would have no more construction/be clean and would always be full of family and friends. That was my plan…
There is still a huge hole in the ceiling of the kitchen. How am I supposed to be the perfect wife if I can’t even put all my dishes away? Geez… Get into our kitchen, look up, and see 130-ish years of dust and debris- now, nothing is actively falling out of the ceiling so it’s perfectly safe to cook in, but I’m pretty sure that the hole is not very fashionable. Strike one!
It’s winter. Snow. Ice. Salt everywhere. Since the next school concerts I accompany are not until March, I have a good deal of my days free at home- ostensibly for cleaning, although sometimes the allure of the library sucks me in. However, when I clean, I CLEAN. Mopping the floors, cleaning the bathrooms, sweeping, you get the idea. I spend all day, and the minute Mike comes in, it’s all for naught. Despite my pleas for him to wears slippers, he enjoys tracking snow, mud, and salt all over my clean floors. (Before you start wondering, yes- there are plenty of things I do that annoy the sanity out of Michael. Apparently singing made-up songs loudly in the next room is not conducive to writing important e-mails!) Anyway, my inability to keep the house clean would definitely be a strike two.
Strike three would come in the form of grocery shopping. Apparently, to get the things one needs, one must be a competitive beast in the store. Allow me to explain: I walked into Walmart one day for just a few items. When I go shopping for just a few things, I get a basket- getting a cart, especially the big ones at Walmart, tells my brain that I need to fill the cart with things…things I don’t need. I decided to get a basket, but it was my misfortune to enter the store on the opposite side of the baskets. Walking briskly, I set off for the other side to get a basket. I see the basket (only one left) sitting there on the floor, with no one near. I get a good feeling, like this shopping trip would be OK! Then I spot an older gentleman, hobbling on his cane, over to the basket. Really, I can’t make this stuff up; he was aiming at MY basket! What does he even need with a basket? Like he could even hold it and his cane at the same time…I did pick up my pace, practically running to the basket, but it was in vain. The old man beat me, snatching up the basket right in front of my nose. So close, but still defeated. I got a cart after all, and spent way too much. Just what I was trying to avoid.
Here’s the thing: some days I can get so down on myself. I really wish we had money so I could go back to school, I wish we had more time in the day, I wish I had gotten a raise, etc….I’m sure you can fill in the blanks with wishes of your own, and your story won’t sound all that different than mine. Life is hard, no doubts about that. I was in bed last night, feeling like a sailor lost at sea, feeling like I really didn’t matter at all, when Michael leaned over and said “I love you, and God loves you. God has you right where he needs you.” That’s true for us all! God has YOU right where he needs you right now, and when the going gets hard, he sends people into our lives that can comfort us and remind us. This doesn’t always make the sting of our failures or hardships any less, nor does it promise that our lives will be pain- or hardship-free, but it allows us to keep on living our lives rather than being hung up on those hardships.
The more I think about it, my life really isn’t exactly like those reality TV families, which is a good thing. Our little family could probably star in our OWN TV show (and some days I feel like we’re in one), but the best thing that makes us different from Duck Dynasty and 19 Kids and Counting and any other show is that we are OURSELVES! I’ll still watch those shows (in fact, I’m watching Duck Dynasty right now) but I know now that their family, faith, and fun is something we do have in common in our family! Michael is Michael, I am me, and even though we don’t always have an abundance of money, our house is always full of friends, family, and laughter, and we have each other to help through the tough times. Michael is so right- God does have me where he wants me! Now all of you reading, go out and have fun with your own family and friends, and know that God is loving and supporting us all!
-Stephanie
Ancient Living 